If the yearly panto season of novelty charity matches have taught us anything, it’s that menfolk can never let go of the idea they could be professional footballers, no matter how successful they’ve been in other walks of life. There seem to be a never-ending slew of politicians, musicians, disgraced television presenters and former Eastenders actors unsure of their place in the world since they ended the Bill, more than willing to be annually celebrated in their delusion for our amusement. Of late the phenomena has even ensnared some notable Hollywood A-listers. Who can forget Woody Harrelson triumphantly slotting a penalty past Jamie Theakston with all the grace and poise of a drunk man trying to kick a pigeon, disproving once and for all that White Men Can’t Punt. Or imagine the sight of Sam Allardyce crying hearty tears of joy into his Bovril as Mike Myers hoofed a ball downfield with little or no aim or specific purpose.
But while the world of film is filled with cameos and misguided star vehicles for American sports stars, there remains a paltry selection of footballers who’ve crossed the hollowed line into film. You may remind me of the indomitable Goal film trilogy, and Alan Shearer’s immortal delivery of the classic line “you done with that son?” Or indeed that Vinnie Jones technically qualifies as a footballer, but I would laugh heartily in your face. The fact remains that the world’s most popular sport is still woefully represented in the realms of it’s most popular procrastinatory pass time.
And in that spirit, the noble elves at Football Fancast have bravely procrastinated like no other to help you pass the time, and imagine what a world of footballers in films would look like. And it’s a horrible, scary world of puns and bad photoshopping.
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Click on the Big Sam Theory to unveil the TV/Film posters
Liverpool should no longer focus on trying to sign Roma goalkeeper Alisson, and instead focus on other targets.
What’s the word?
Since the transfer window opened, the Merseyside outfit have been linked with a handful of shot-stoppers around Europe.
Current number one Loris Karius did not cover himself in glory during the Champions League final last month.
The German made two huge blunders that led to goals in the Reds’ 3-1 defeat to Real Madrid in Kiev.
Who do you think will win the World Cup? Let us know here and win any World Cup shirt of your choice.
Roma keeper Alisson has cropped up in the gossip pages plenty of times whenever Liverpool’s hunt for a new stopper has been mentioned.
However, the likelihood of a deal being struck seems far away, particularly now that Real Madrid and Chelsea have been touted as potential suitors.
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Why should Liverpool give up?
There is no doubt that manager Jurgen Klopp needs a new man in between the sticks.
However, there are various obstacles in the way with regards to getting a deal struck for Alisson.
One seems to be the price, with Mundo Deportivo reporting earlier this month that Roma are holding out for a fee in the region of £70m.
Another is the fact that the Italian outfit sold their best player in Mohamed Salah to Liverpool last summer, so it is unlikely that they will be easily persuaded to part with another key player.
It is also worth taking into consideration that, even though Alisson is on the verge of world-class quality, there is a danger that he has been overhyped.
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The 25-year-old has been in goal for Brazil during the World Cup and he has had a few shaky moments.
The 26-cap stopper is certainly an upgrade on Karius, but the hassle of getting a deal done should cause Liverpool to reconsider.
Aston Villa attacker Jack Grealish made his return from a calf injury in his team’s Championship clash with struggling Sunderland on Tuesday night.
The 22-year-old had missed games against Fulham, Preston North End and Sheffield Wednesday with the problem, but was back on the field against Sunderland as he appeared a second-half substitute in his team’s 3-0 victory at the Stadium of Light.
Grealish, who has one goal and six assists in all competitions this season, is now in line to start for Villa against Championship leaders Wolverhampton Wanderers at Villa Park this weekend.
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Some of Grealish’s off-the-field conduct has not been the best, but there is no doubting that the attacker has incredible ability on the football pitch.
Villa fans are hopeful that Grealish’s injury problems are now behind him, and want to see the attacker, who is valued at £4.5m by transfermarkt.co.uk, in the starting XI against Wolves on Saturday afternoon.
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A selection of the Twitter reaction can be seen below:
Nine points dropped from a WINNING POSITION already this season…
The Swansea collapse on Sunday was another disappointing day at the office for Arsene Wenger’s Arsenal, prompting much talk of ‘same old story’ from Gooners. It seems bizarre that after so many crumbling performances in recent years that the Frenchman has done very little to repair the glaring issues, leading to frustration in the stands and underachievement on the pitch.
So just what can be done at the Emirates Stadium? Here are FIVE options to give the Londoners a little more ‘backbone’.
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William Carvalho
//www.youtube.com/embed/Dld9uMC2jyE
Dubbed the ‘new Patrick Vieira’, Carvalho looks to be everything Arsenal are missing in the centre of midfield. Strong, energetic, pacey and able to get forward, the Portugal international is the complete package and is viewed, by many, as the best young enforcer in Europe behind Paul Pogba.
Mathieu Flamini is a red card waiting to happen, Mikel Arteta can no longer get about the pitch as he’s needed to, whilst the likes of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Tomas Rosicky are too attack-minded to mop up in front of the backline. Carvalho to solve the problems? At £20m, he could.
Sami Khedira
For much of the summer the Gunners were linked with the German, and with his contract due to expire at the end of the season, January could be the best time to nab the 27-year-old. Khedira is another all-action midfielder who’s able to get up and down the pitch and protect or support, making him a useful tool to his side.
Arsenal’s German contingent may be key in convincing the World Cup winner to reject Chelsea, Manchester United and Bayern Munich, so Wenger should probably consider an £8m-£10m move.
Mats Hummels
In a period in which there are very few top class centre-backs around, Hummels appears to be the pick of the bunch. That’s not to mean that he isn’t of the quality of some of the great defenders of the past 20 years or so, with the Dortmund ace a genuinely excellent enforcer.
Manchester United also want the 25-year-old, but weekend reports indicated that the player himself is more open to joining the Gunners thanks to their proven Champions League qualification track record. At £30m-££35m it’s a no brainier, right?
Geoffrey Kondogbia
Rangy and combative, Kondogbia is an excellent holding midfielder. Another player to have been handed the ‘Patrick Vieira’ tag, the current Monaco man was linked with the Gunners before joining the French heavyweights upon their return to France’s top tier.
//www.youtube.com/embed/SES25fmHF8U
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“There’s a lad at Monaco called Geoffrey Kondogbia who is very similar to Patrick Vieira and he played at the Emirates Cup.
“It would take a lot of money to get him, but he’s physically imposing and he would be the perfect buy.”
The words Arsenal hero Perry Groves. ‘Nuff said.
Gerard Pique
Bags of experience and a real winning mentality, Pique is the calibre of centre-back needed to stem the flow of goals at the wrong end for Arsenal. The Spaniard has recently fallen out of favour at Barcelona, and although Chelsea and Manchester United are leading the race, the Gunners could yet steal in to nab the World Cup winner.
Pique’s composure on the ball and ability to function in ‘the Barca way’ are certain to appeal to Wenger, who is known to like his defenders to be able to play out from the back. A £20m-£25m fee will be needed, but such sums could easily be made up with a top four finish this season.
Everton support striker Marouane Fellaini has flourished at Goodison Park during the last two seasons in a more advanced role than we have usually become accustomed to seeing him in since he first arrived in England four years ago. The Belgium ace looks every inch the game-changer as he was against Fulham at the weekend, but how far in the game can he really go?
Part of the increasingly talented Belgian contingent currently operating in the top flight, Fellaini has reportedly attracted interest from the likes of Chelsea, Real Madrid and Manchester United in the past, but would he merit a place in their teams on his current form or would he have to revert to a deeper-lying, more reserved role to force his way into the starting eleven?
After scoring eight goals in his debut season in the Premier League back in 2008-9, the 24-year-old then went on to score just six goals over the course of the next three seasons and 11 across all competitions. However, since it became clear that Tim Cahill’s time at the club was winding down, Fellaini has been pushed forward to support Nikica Jelavic to truly superb effect and ensured that David Moyes’ not only haven’t skipped a beat, they’ve become a more threatening and consistent attacking force.
With five goals and two assists in his first nine league games so far this season, including the winner during the team’s 1-0 season opener against Manchester United at home were he bullied a makeshift defence and the brace this weekend against Fulham, his sheer physical presence marks him out as a special talent.
Often when players are lauded as ‘having a good touch for a big man’, it’s about as back-handed a compliment as you can get, as if being tall simply isn’t conducive to having good technique, but Fellaini is able to combine his physique with no end of finesse and he’s capable of scoring all kinds of goals, as displayed by his double at Craven Cottage.
The first goal was a lesson in movement and he completely left Chris Baird for dead before latching on to Kevin Mirallas’ cut-back before lashing home, while his second displayed what he’s capable of doing with more direct service, brilliantly bringing down Phil Jagielka’s long punt forward onto his chest, out-muscling Aaron Hughes before finishing with aplomb into the bottom near post.
That Fellaini has been able to make the move from a central midfield holding man to a deadly support striker is well worthy of admiration and it’s hardly as if the two position are transferable, but ever since his arrival in England, the player has spoken of how he sees playing further forward as best suiting his skill set and only now are we truly seeing that on a consistent enough basis.
While Everton would obviously love to keep hold of them and should they achieve Champions League football this season, a feat not entirely out of the realms of possibility given the respective struggles of top four rivals Arsenal, Newcastle and Tottenham so far, then they may be able to hold on to him for at least another season. Nevertheless, you sense that there’s an expiry date on his time at Goodison Park and that he’s destined for more than the club can offer him.
He certainly wouldn’t look out of his depth playing for someone like Real Madrid, Chelsea or Manchester United on current form and while the £25m fee that it would probably take for him to part Merseyside may be seen as a bit on the steep side by some, international team-mate Axel Witsel recently transferred to Russian club Zenit St Petersburg for €40 million and Fellaini is arguably a more effective and versatile performer than him, already familiar with the top flight, albeit with limited European experience, so it’s about right if you ask me.
There’s an argument to be made that Fellaini may be slightly too cumbersome and slow to play an attacking role in Jose Mourinho’s side, while Manchester United and Chelsea are less prone to supplying the sort of direct service he thrives on, even if at Old Trafford he would have an ample supply of crosses to get his head onto.
Moreover, cast your eye around Europe at the moment and the lack of quality, recognised holding midfielders on show is scarce and there appears to be a real dearth of talent in that role at the moment. At Barcelona, Javier Mascherano has been converted into a sweeper to make up for the injury-prone nature of the ageing Carles Puyol.
Elsewhere, the likes of John Obi Mikel and Darren Fletcher both have their flaws, with really only Javi Martinez, Sergio Busquets and Sami Khedira to write home about. There’s nothing to stop Fellaini being held in such esteemed company in the future, but he may have to forgo his fondness for an attacking role to achieve it.
He is an hugely intelligent, adaptable and tactically aware player who uses the ball well in tight spaces, not to mention his aerial dominance and robustness in the tackle. At the true pinnacle of European football, though, there will always be quicker, trickier players capable of ‘breaking lines’ in the opponents final third and Fellaini may come to resemble a limited throwback to a forgotten generation of stylistic stagnation.
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There’s no doubting his talent and the fact that he has something to offer the truly best teams in the world at the moment, but there are legitimate concerns over whether he is the right fit for the slick, fluid forward play that has become the fashionable in-vogue style on the continent. He has all the tools, but where he uses them will dictate how successful his career will eventually turn out to be.
In order to take that next step, Tottenham Hotspur need to strengthen their squad to compete with the likes of Manchester City and Manchester United.
Mauricio Pochettino’s men finished third in the Premier League table last season, and have secured Champions League football for the last three campaigns in a row.
However, it has been a decade since the North London outfit took home a trophy.
United, Liverpool and Arsenal have already signed up new faces this summer, but Tottenham are yet to get their chequebook out.
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It is no huge surprise given that in recent history Spurs have left it relatively late to get deals over the line.
Chairman Daniel Levy is not the easiest negotiator in the world as he is never prepared to pay over the odds for a transfer target.
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The club have been linked to numerous names over the past few weeks and months, but nothing has yet come to fruition.
Fans have been tweeting their thoughts on the laboured window.
Aston Villa have hit a rough spot in their bid for Premier League promotion as recent results have not gone their way.Steve Bruce’s team were on a seven-game winning run when they were halted by Fulham in a 2-0 defeat a few weeks ago.On Tuesday night, the Midlands outfit rescued a 1-1 draw with Preston North End at Villa Park thanks to Lewis Grabban’s 66th-minute penalty.On Saturday, the Championship outfit will take on Sheffield Wednesday on home turf, with the aim of getting back on track.At the moment, Bruce is struggling with numerous injury problems to his squad.There is some good news, though, as 19-year-old attacking player Callum O’Hare has been included in the travelling party.[ad_pod ]The youngster has played 103 minutes of Championship action so far this season across four substitute appearances.In that time, O’Hare has created one assist, and also started four games in the club’s cup competitions.Fans have been left very excited buy the news that the Solihull-born player could feature this weekend.
Villa currently reside third in the table, four points adrift of the automatic promotion spots.
Alan Pardew’s bacon may have been saved for another week by Papiss Cisse’s late two-goal come-back to draw against Hull City on Saturday, but the Newcastle manager’s position is still verging towards untenable.The former West Ham and Charlton gaffer’s Tyneside tenure has been riddled with controversy, ranging from rumours that he first met Mike Ashley in a casino to receiving a seven-game touchline ban for head-butting David Meyler last season, and the Magpies now find themselvesÂat the bottom of the Premier League table with just three points from five games and a goal difference of -5.The supporters want Pardew sacked, or at least 86% of them do, according to a poll taken at the end of last season. And with that scenario becoming increasingly likely, it’s time for the Toon army to start getting excited about potential successors to their under-fire manager.So without further ado, here’s FIVE likely Pardew replacements that will leave the Magpies faithful dreaming of former glories once again.
His attritional philosophy may often divide opinion, but Tony Pulis has to be considered a strong candidate for any managerial vacancy outside of the Premier League’s top six.
The 56 year-old built Stoke City into the mid-table powerhouses they are today, and performed nothing short of a miracle at Selhurst Park last season by masterminding Crystal Palace to an eleventh place finish in the top flight, earning him the 2013/14 Manager of the Season award.
He picked up the Eagles in November 2013 at the foot of the Premier League table with just seven points on the board – a situation not dissimilar to where the Magpies currently find themselves.
Most importantly for Newcastle fans following their slump into the Championship in 2009, relegation-threatened 2012/13 campaign and current demise this season, Pulis boasts the impressive feat of having never been relegated as a manager, throughout spells with Bournemouth, Gillingham, Bristol City, Plymouth, the Potters and Palace.
But the former defender left the South London outfit by mutual consent at the start of the current campaign, reportedly due to a dispute over transfer policy with co-Chairman Steve Parish, so it remains to be seen if he’d be willing to work with Mike Ashley, who has infamously dominated Newcastle’s recruitment throughout Alan Pardew’s tenure.
The Tynesiders will have to act quickly too; Pulis has strongly been linked with the vacancy at Cardiff City, following Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s resignation last week:
DAVID MOYES
David Moyes may have endured a horror-story ten months at Manchester United, leading the Red Devils to the worst title defence in Premier League history since the 38-game season began, but his prior accomplishments with Everton have not been forgotten.
The Scot transformed the Toffees from relegation candidates into top six regulars during his eleven years at Goodison Park, in that time winning the 2003, 2005 and 2009 LMA Manager of the Year awards.
That level of consistency – Everton finished outside of the top seven just three times under Moyes – is exactly what Newcastle need to bring them back towards former glories, and the 51 year-old’s ability to work with modest resources will particularly strike a chord with Mike Ashley.
The former Preston boss needs to rebuild his reputation after the hellish United stint, and following rejection from Galatasaray earlier this summer, will be prepared to take on a less coveted club.
But Moyes was on £4million-per-year at Everton and £3.5million-per-year at Manchester United, so the Newcastle owner will likely have to pay a premium rate for his services.
Steve Bruce
Once harangued out of the Sunderland dugout for being a ‘fat Geordie b*****d, Newcastle United boss could well be the managerial role Steve Bruce was born for.
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He’s enjoyed consistent Premier spells with Birmingham, Wigan Athletic, the Black Cats and now Hull City, guiding them to Europa League qualification via the FA Cup last season, and as a boyhood Toon supporter, would gloss over many of the entrenched issues between Mike Ashley and the fanbase.
The 53 year-old admitted in November 2013 his regret in not becoming Newcastle boss when the opportunity arose during his St. Andrew’s days, but he also labelled recent links with the Magpies post ‘disrespectful’ last week.
And although he appears to have the firm backing of the tabloids, who have lined him up rather vigorously as Alan Pardew’s replacement, Bruce made further suggestions he’d turn down the Tynesiders this weekend by backing their under-fire manager:
Also tied down to a long-term contract with the Tigers, Ashley would have to fork out a significant compensation sum to even hold talks with the former Manchester United skipper.
NEIL LENNON
Neil Lennon left Celtic on his own terms at the end of last season, after claiming three consecutive SPL titles, two Scottish Cups and masterminding some of the most memorable European nights in the club’s history – including this Champions League victory over Barcelona:
//www.youtube.com/embed/E9be3uZYvBg?rel=0
The northern Irishman’s move to English football feels inevitable and he was linked with a plethora of managerial vacancies in the Premier League and Championship throughout the summer, including Norwich City and West Brom.
No club has taken a punt on the 43 year-old just yet, and admittedly, a lack of experience in the English top flight will work against him. But the former Crewe and Leicester City midfielder boasts enormous potential as a manager and his feisty passion will certainly gain the support of the Toon Army:
//www.youtube.com/embed/iv6qCSXmp04?rel=0
That being said, Mike Ashley needs to act quickly – Lennon has been linked to both the Cardiff City and Fulham posts:
FABRICIO COLOCCINI
Could this actually happen, or is it simply a Toon Army fantasy? For that matter, would it even be a good idea?
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Either way, The Telegraph claim Newcastle captain Fabricio Coloccini is amongst the contenders to take over from under-fire manager Alan Pardew:
The 32 year-old is an absolute novice in managerial terms and probably envisages his playing days lasting a little longer, having eyed a prodigal-son return to Argentina with San Lorenzo back in January.
But he’s also seen as an adoptive son of the Tyneside community, with his floppy hair iconic and the defender boasting over 200 appearances for the Toon. Here are some of the highlights from his seven-year spell:
//www.youtube.com/embed/ykWrCSHoDEo?rel=0
It’s the kind of cost-cutting measure Mike Ashley tends to go for and the exact same decision Swansea City made regarding Gary Monk last season. The Welsh side are now fifth in the Premier League table.
But the Argentina international has been as instrumental as anybody in Newcastle’s plight over the last few seasons, enduring questionable form and rarely showing the organisational qualities expected of a captain centre-back.
I’m sure Magpies fans would prefer to see some leadership from the pitch before he moves to the dugout.
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger believes that his side’s 2-2 Champions League draw with Schalke was a “fair” result for both teams.
The Gunners were two goals up after 30 minutes, but let their advantage slip coming away with a single point.
Although they occupied a commanding position, the Frenchman believes that there were many positives to take from the encounter:
“With all the stick we got after Saturday’s game, it was important to show a good response and I think we did that.” He told SkySports.
“It was a difficult game – a good one as well, both teams played very well.
“It was unfortunate that we conceded that goal before half-time, and in the last minute we had the chance for 3-2, but overall I think a draw was fair.
“At 2-0 you have not won the game in the Champions League.
“German teams have physical quality and technical quality and they never give up, so I never felt the game was over.”
Theo Walcott missed a good chance late on which midfielder Mikel Arteta admitted was a big moment in the game:
“Considering we were 2-0 up, it can’t be good for us. We had the last chance too with Theo.
“We were unlucky to concede just before half-time. It was a completely different game, but that happened. But this is not an easy place to come. We’ll take the point.”
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Arsenal took the lead through Walcott after quarter-of-an-hour before Oliver Giroud doubled the advantage with a fine header on the 26 minute mark.
Klaas-Jan Huntelaar’s clinical strike made it 2-1 on the stroke of half-time and Peruvian winger Jefferson Farfan completed the comeback with a deflected effort after 67 minutes.
According to Sky Sports News, Middlesbrough have made a bid in excess of £5m for Sunderland midfielder Paddy McNair ahead of the 2018-19 campaign.
What’s the story?
McNair only made 16 Championship appearances for Sunderland last season, but he managed five goals for the relegated Black Cats.
Brighton & Hove Albion are believed to be interested in signing the 15-time Northern Ireland international, with the Seagulls said to have had at least one bid rejected.
According to Sky Sports News, Boro have offered more than £5m for the versatile midfielder as Tony Pulis’ side look to boost their squad ahead of the 2018-19 season.
Pulis led Boro, who have also been linked with Robert Huth, into the Championship playoffs last term, but they suffered a 1-0 defeat to Aston Villa in the semi-finals.
The former Premier League club will fancy their chances of launching another bid for promotion next term, however, and McNair would boost their challenge.
Would McNair be a good signing?
In short, yes. McNair broke into the Manchester United first team in 2014, and made 27 first-team appearances for the Red Devils before joining Sunderland in August 2016.
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McNair missed the start of last season with a serious knee problem, but showed his class upon returning to fitness, and ended the campaign with five Championship goals.
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It is going to prove almost impossible for Sunderland to keep him following their relegation to League One, and McNair would be a fine signing for Boro. Indeed, if they can sign him for just over £5m, it could go down as one of the best deals of the summer.
The 23-year-old is capable of playing in a number of positions in both midfield and defence, whilst he has already shown that he can hold his own at Premier League level, let alone in the second tier.